Sunday 3 May 2009

Broken....

It's been on the cards for a while now, this year I've pushed and pushed and pushed and finally about 50 miles into this morning's 82 mile super hilly (around 8000 feet) ride I completely exploded... not physically but mentally.

In what's becoming something of a tradition in the build-up to Ironman H and I along with our great friend BenG had scheduled what we call a mega-brick training session as the final piece in an 18 week jigsaw. In triathlon training a brick session is where you put two disciplines together (typically bike then run) in order to simulate the race scenario. Every now and then we do what we call 'big' bricks which are normally something like a 100 mile ride followed by a 60-90 minute run, we've done three or four of those this year. Last year, for the first time, we went even longer though and stuck a 20 mile run on the back of a century ride... the 'mega' brick was born! That was on a relatively flat bike course however and in order to replicate Lanzarote a little more I came up with a slightly hillier route this year... I say slightly, but it probably had about 7000 feet more climbing in 24 less miles!

Anyway, back to the title... for a number of weeks I've been feeling deeply deeply fatigued, not so much physically but mentally. I've been struggling to get to sleep and then struggling to wake up (both unlike me), I've been jumbling my words around unintentionally and feeling a little more stressed than normal and experiencing the odd dip in motivation. Even my once lengthy blog entries had shrunk to the odd token sentence and finally last week I didn't even post, something which I'd not managed ever before! Still, this is Ironman and I've always wanted to push the boundaries of my mental and physical capabilities so that's what I've been doing.

I guess if there can be a good time to blow it might as well be in your final key training session... any earlier and I'd end up missing something serious and any later I might not have time to recover... but it's never nice, and today was no different.

To cut a very long story short, at around 50 miles into today's bike I suddenly felt like every single ounce of motivation instantly left my body. Ben, who's riding so so strong at the moment, came by me on a hill and within minutes was out of sight... unfortunately he must have nicked my mojo on the way through and that was it... almost ;)

By the time I started lap 5 of 6 I was at complete rock bottom, my heart rate had dropped 15-20 beats and my head even further. Within a couple more miles I'd thrown in the towel and was limping back to the car intending on cutting the bike one lap (13.7 miles) short and the run completely. Fortunately it took me quite a long time to finish the lap by which time thoughts of Ben and H out there giving it everything had started to play with my conscience, thoughts of my athletic heroes like Redgrave, Radcliffe and Chrissie Wellington had started to creep in to my broken head... 'what would they do?' I questioned? I can't have been much more than about 100 yards from turning right (car) instead of left (final lap) when enough was enough and, shouting out loud, I had some serious words with myself... 'this is THE session of the whole Ironman build up, are you really going to jack it in half way through?'... 'what will happen in Lanza if the bike doesn't go to plan, would you quit then?'... 'you won't get this chance again, quitting's forever'... and that was it... 'survive the final lap, run the first mile, and see what happens'...

Lap 6 took 58 minutes (compared to 48 for each of the first three) but it got me back to the car and with 'one mile at a time' at the front of my thoughts off I set... Ben and H were already out there on our 1/2 mile out and back course which although may sound mentally tough is actually quite the opposite for a session like this as every seven or eight minutes our paths would cross and spirits would lift. On top of this our mate (and LBT chairman) Richard Leake was out there on his bike and whereas I normally like to loose myself in my thoughts the company was fantastic and kept me positive at just the right time, thanks mate ;) Within about 20 minutes I found myself settling into about 7.20 miles and with my heart rate steady at around 143bpm things were looking good, I'd put the bike to the back of my mind and focusing firmly forward was making good progress. In what seemed like no time at all I'd flown through ten miles in 74.05 and felt I could pick it up for the rest... 73 minutes later (including a 60 second toilet stop) and I'd negative splitted a 20 mile run in 2:27 at an average pace of 7.23 per mile (including over two minutes of stops to refuel). My final two miles were covered in 14:20 at an average heart rate of 147 and I certainly felt I could have knocked out another 10k to complete a marathon in 3.13.

So here we are, we've had a chilled out evening going out for dinner with Richard L and looking back on the day I feel I may have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. At one point I was about as low as I've ever been in a training session but drawing on past experiences and examples set by others I managed to turn things round and finish with a positive. With three weeks to go I'm definitely the fittest I've ever been but also absolutely the most fatigued... fingers crossed I can recover in 20 days...

Will post more soon,

It's good to be back.... almost ;)

T

13 comments:

Vikki said...

It has really helped reading your blog this morning Tom. Yesterday, I was all out of motivation and couldn't get myself out of the door to do my 18 miler. I too haven't slept well this week and have been totally fed up about my legs constantly aching. I forced myself out to do 6.5 last night, but it was like running through treacle. So reading that you have felt the same and managed to find the mental strength to complete such an amazingly tough session has given me the willpower to get myself out of the door this morning. I am doing my 18 today and for once I have some company for part of it which will help I think. So thank you and a big well done to both you and Helen for completing an awesome training schedule for the last 6 months. You both deserve to do brilliantly in Lanzarote and we will be keeping our fingers crossed for you.

Ben G said...

Not really broken mate, 7.23min/mile doesn't come from somebody who is broken! It's all smiles, fun and positive thoughts for the next 18 days :)

runtilyoudrop said...

Tom you have got all the training you need in you. It is time to rest and get fresh.

Debra said...

Oh Tom, so glad to hear you made it onto the run and fingers crossed re the rest, we are all 100% behind you as ever.....and yes we think you are both nuts as well, the article in 220 on Ironman lanza certainly confirmed this

Also just wanted to let you know that I am still maintaining my 3 goals from February although didn't make pilates this last week as didn't think my bashed legs could cope with it, but the pilates and core work have most definitely paid off in my marathon training, race and recovery, no significant injuries or pains throughout and would recommend highly to any of your blog readers

Rob Bane said...

I read about the Pompeii worm this week, which survives in hyper-thermal, sulphur spewing thermal vents. I also read your training blog. I was more impressed by the latter...sounds like your on the outer edges of existence.

Far out, man.

Anonymous said...

Great journey - thanks for sharing it with us!! Finally you show you are human ;-) Taper well and good luck for the race.

Anonymous said...

Great journey - thanks for sharing it with us!! Finally you show you are human ;-) Taper well and good luck for the race. Die Trying.

Anonymous said...

Can't beat a bit of a shout on the bike. When things are all getting a bit much I find a primeval roar helps get it all out and strangely brings the motivation back.

Looking forward to seeing you smack Lanza and then join in the applause as you collect your slot on the Sunday morning.

Khara Mills said...

You've now proved to YOURSELF that you are as mentally strong as you are physically. Something we ALL knew! If that's what you can achieve in training, god help the rest of them in Lanzarote. YOU ARE READY. Simples!
Khara :-)

Jevon said...

Easy Tiger. Agree with Gabriel. Relaxamundo...
J.

Tom said...

thanks for all the amazing comments guys :)

Vikki - your athletic journey over the last few years has been amazing, you inspire myself and others more than you will ever realise!

Ben - Strangely I seem to be able to break in one discipline but be fine in another... all god prep for keeping my head together if I have a bad bike or swim on the 23rd. You are FLYING on the bike by the way, please don't start 60 seconds behind me on Wednesday ;)

RTD - Very wise words, thanks.

Debra - Great work on the goal setting and take things easy fir a while - one day per mile remember ;)

Rob - :)

Die - Can't wait to share the 23rd with you mate... it's going to be amazing!

Anon - bring it on!

Khara - Thanks for your amazing support as always

and last but not least...

J - Easy, I just let my inner laziness take control :)

Anonymous said...

An inspirational training story - its people like you who help me get through my own training - Thanks and all the best

Tom said...

anon - it's a total pleasure and certainly don't underestimate the motivation that positive comments like your give me, good luck in all your goals :)