A clear lack of goals...

(Note: Sorry for the slight delay this week, I got caught up in a rather excting new writing project (all will be revealed soon) and had to put things on hold for a few hours. Still, better late than never...)

Well, maybe not a lack of goals... just a complete change in thinking as to what they are. Let me explain...

For quite a while now I've wondered about the possibility that I somehow manage to limit my performances through my goals. At first glance running a 2:58 marathon when your target is three hours or doing a 9:28 Ironman when the aim is to break 9:30 can seem like a success (especially when like me you used to be a lazy, overweight, binge drinking Brit), and for several years now I've enjoyed pb after pb. But, and this year convinced me, it can become all too easy to do just enough to hit your target yet fall short of your true potential. What this year has also taught me is that no matter what time I do in a particular event, I'm only truly happy when I feel I've given my absolute best. When I say 'best' I mean from the start of training to crossing the finish line and to be brutally honest I don't feel I managed that for any of my 2009 events. Before I get buried under an avalanche of 'people like you will never be completely happy with your performances' let me provide you with a few examples where I've walked away elated knowing that I'd just given my best...

• My first ever marathon - in 1999 as a somewhat overweight student I gave up the booze in January and gave everything I could for 15 weeks before perfectly pacing a 3:53 marathon (1:57/1:56) and crossing the line totally spent.
• My first crack at breaking three hours for the 26.2 - several years later I lined up on the start line of the Lausanne marathon having run more training miles than ever before (or since), went through half in 1:30 and then promptly exploded at around the 20 mile mark. It took everything to hang on to some kind of speed and falling (literally) over the line in 3:10 I lost all use of my legs (literally) for several hours.
• Ironman Germany 2008 - Despite blowing up well before the end of the bike and missing my overall time goal by over 30 minutes, as well as maybe making a few mistakes in training such as neglecting my cycling in favour of running. I honestly absolutely gave everything through every week of training and gave more to that nine hours and 59 minutes of racing than any race ever before (or since).

I could go on, but for me those three events are prime examples of focusing 100% on the process from start to finish (training & the race). The second two are probably my proudest achievments in sport, note that I missed my desired outcome in both, and great examples of true happiness coming from the process rather than the outcome. Yes, I missed my target but I went for it 100% and walked away knowing that I had given my all. I'm much happier about my 9.59 at Germany than my 9.28 in Switzlerand!

This year I went into both my Ironman events a good few kilos heavier than I would like to have been, I knew that having not taken part in a running race since January I was well short of my 2008 run form and set my race gear up somewhat conservatively... all of this 'knowing' that it would be 'enough' to hit my pre-race goals. In Lanzarote that complacency dropped me right in it when the run got tasty and in Switzerland I was the victim of measuring my efforts (training more than racing) against what I thought others would achieve. At the beginning of the season I wrote on here about getting back to really hurting in races and truly giving it my all, I maybe got close to that in terms of painful races but at the same time constant analysis of my training and racing performances, although accurate lead me to fall somewhat short of what on reflection I know I can achieve.

This next 12 months is likely to be my final Iron year, and I know (absolutely) that I can go a lot faster than ever before if I can just stop focusing on the outcome and concentrate on the process. To put that in context, I would have thought that to qualify for Hawaii would take just under ten hours in Lanzarote, to break ten hours in Lanza would be a dream come true regardless and having gone 10:20 this year it would be a big step forwards... a success? Maybe not... the problem is that by concentrating on the outcome, I'm forgetting what it is that will see me sign off from mdot a happy man... the feeling of having given everything (truly) to the process... regardless of the outcome. The truth is you see that I'd rather give everything and go 10:30 (missing Kona) than just do 'enough', break ten and book my place at the Big Dance. The danger of setting the sub-10 target is that the second I feel I'm in shape to do just that I'll back it off and cruise to the start line.

A great example of this happened last week when I did my first timed mile for ages. My previous pb was 23:38 and I was over the moon to stop the clock in 23:52... the problem is that almost instantly I felt myself feeling complacent about my swim ability and losing the drive to spend a long winter flogging myself in the pool. Why bother, afterall I'm ahead of this time last year and should easily do 'enough' to swim my target time?

So this year is going to be completely devoid of time related goals, there will be NO TARGET TIMES... yes I'll measure what I do but that will only serve to confirm forward motion. I intend to push as hard as I can from now through till Lanzarote and beyond, be as dedicated as possible, as strong as possible, as light as possible, as fast as possible and race as hard as possible. Whatever the outcome of that process is then that will be the outcome... nothing more. But I will walk away from Ironman happy that for once in my life I've put everything on the line and given my absolute best.

Today's image is current World Ironman Champion Craig Alexander who summed it up perfectly in the post-race press conference in Kona, note there is no mention of time or position (outcome), it's all about a 'good performance' (process)...

“There were a lot of bad patches today. Last year to win was exciting but this year is more rewarding because it was a different race. It was a harder race. This year I had to work at it and chip away for every mile on the bike and the run.”

“There are some great bike riders in our group. I felt the pace was slid early. I got dropped two or three times on the way up to Hawi. The thing is, my main focus was just to give a good title defense and put in a performance I could be proud of.”

“I didn’t attack [Lieto] I just found a rhythm. But I didn’t feel that fluid motion I felt last year. Today I felt like I had to work for every second.”

“I think a lot about my family out there. They sacrifice a lot for me; we travel a lot. I certainly feel, not a pressure or obligation, but a duty to the people who make my career possible. I don’t want to let them down. It’s nice to give something back with a good performance.”

(Quote borrowed from Simon Whitfield HERE)

Hold on to your hats,

Tx